"Damn it, damn it, DAMN IT!!" You cursed to yourself as you paced in your room. The echoes left by your heavy and hurried footsteps danced around in the small room you called home.
After the tension felt between you, Levi and Eren during training, it was becoming too much for you. You admitted to yourself that you had, unconditionally an irrevocably, fallen in love with the two men. Despite the original plan being to make Levi jealous had worked nonetheless, you felt as though you were making Eren jealous at the same time. His attitude towards you was too close for comfort sometimes, well maybe not that, more so realistic. Eren's actions towards you did not feel fake or forced. It was genuine and you were confused, lost and above all, you were frustrated.
"This is ridiculous. I can't love both of them. It's not right, is it?" You muttered to yourself.
Running your hands through you hair, you let your head fall into your hands, resting on your knees. You let a heavy sigh escape your lips and leaned back in the chair.
A soft knock was heard at your door and you mentally groaned. You really didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment. Truth be told, you were simply wanting some time to yourself; time to clear your mind in peace. Reluctantly, you stood up and wandered over to the wooden frame. Your hand hovered over the knob, half contemplating whether or not you should open it. The person behind the door probably knew you were in here so it would be useless to pretend you weren't in. Your hand grasped the wooden knob and slowly turned it, creaking the door open. You were met with a familiar set of piercing silver-grey eyes and you felt as though the back of your mind had detonated. This man's stare was enough to make your feel like you were swimming with a torpedo targeting you. In this case, he was the torpedo and one wrong move could cause him to explode. You moved to the side and allowed him to walk into the space. You quietly closed the door behind him, turning your back to him. Spinning back to face him, you were suddenly pinned against the wood of your door. Levi's hand rested on either side of your head and his cold eyes bore into yours. You wanted to look away from him but like a magnet, you couldn't.
"W-What is it, sir?" you asked timidly, trying to hide a rising blush.
"______. What do you think of Jaeger? And don't even think about lying to me," he answered back a little too harshly.
"Eren's…he's, uh…I think…," you were struggling to find your words. You didn't know how to tell the Corporal how you felt about Eren, "I don't know, sir."
"I think you do. You love him don't you."
Your eyes which were observing your boots had shot up to meet his glare. He was always able to read you like a book and you were currently mentally kicking yourself for barely even trying to hide your mixed emotions.
"I think…I do, but-" You trailed off when you saw something reflect in his eyes.
It wasn't concern, it wasn't anger, it wasn't sadness.
It was love.
You had never seen the Corporal like this before. He's usually one to hide his emotions and remained poker-faced the entirety of his time. When faced in the most heart-wrenching situations, he would keep calm under fire and wear that same depraved, stoic mask upon his face. Now that mask had begun to crack, slowly but surely, revealing his bottled up and hidden emotions he felt. This was the second. First, it was the jealously he felt towards Eren and it was still evident by what you had witnessed in the last couple of minutes. Now, it was love. Levi gazed at you with an almost heart-broken look by what you had just admitted. His usual cold stare had just about melted away and you were now faced with a Lance Corporal who looked as though he was ready to sweep you off your feet and love you. Levi watched you through his eyes, waiting for any move on your behalf. You looked back at him with half-sad, half-glad eyes before you gently cupped his left cheek with your hand and leaned in. You brushed your lips against his and he could feel your breath on his soft lips as you could feel his.
"I…I love you too, Levi," you managed to whisper against lips and as you could hear his breath slightly hitch in his throat, you finally fully leaned in to kiss him.
He seemed half-surprised at your sudden action but melted into the kiss nonetheless. His hands resting against the door travelled lower and lower until they came to rest on your hips, pulling you close. You responded by wrapping your arms softly around his neck. He deepened this kiss and fully leaned into you, slightly arching your back. The kiss was growing more and more passionate by the second as Levi silently asked for permission to enter your mouth. You granted him permission and he took advantage of the opportunity and explored your cavern, savouring every moment. His grip on you tightened as he pushed you back up against the door, not allowing you to go anywhere any time soon.
After what seemed like an eternity, the two of you finally pulled away, basking in each other's gaze. Levi held you tightly and you kept your hands wrapped around his shoulders. He smirked slightly as he leaned in close in order to kiss you again. He didn't quite make it as you had placed a finger on his lips, stopping him in his tracks. He looked at your finger and then at you, questioning your sudden action. You had just willingly kissed him yet now you didn't. A slight scowl returned to his face as he watched you.
"If you remember correctly, I also said I loved Eren. If you want me to be yours, you have to win my heart first."
"I'm not so good with 'winning hearts'." His scowl and cold expression returned to his face.
"You won mine. Well, half of it," you said with a smirk.
"And I just have to win all of it?"
"By any means necessary?" His expression was dead-serious now. He was in it to win it.
"Please don't go too far…" you muttered nervously.
Levi let go of you before you moved away from the door, allowing him to exit. Before he left, he turned and glared at you with those same ice cold eyes of his although you detected a playful sense radiating from them.
"This is incredibly troublesome. I wouldn't get used to Jaeger if I were you, ______." That was all he said before turning on his heel to leave, straightening his uniform all the while.
You folded your arms and smiled brightly after him, leaning against the frame of your door while watching him disappear into the darkness of the hallway. Feeling the familiar blush creep across your face, you retreated back into your room. You touched your lips with delicate fingers, not wanting to break the memory. The feeling of his lips against yours, his touch, the way he held you close, the love you saw in his eyes; it was all a wonderful memory.
Your thoughts were rudely interrupted by another knock at your door. Snapping out of your daze, you spun around and knitted your eyebrows in confusion. Hesitantly reaching for the doorknob, you pulled it open. Two hands reached out and took your frame into their embrace. You had no time to react but you recognised the familiar sensation. There was only one person who would hold you like this, so lovingly, so warmly.
"E-Eren? What are you doing?" you muttered out.
"I came to apologise for what happened during training today. My behaviour was stupid," as he said this, his eyes fell to the floor.
You gripped his chin and tilted it so that he was forced to look at you.
"Eren, you did nothing wrong. It was just a little…misunderstanding. Okay?" You tried to say it as softly and gently as you could as you watched him carefully.
He smiled slightly as you took him into your arms and hugged him back. Seeing as how he was a little taller than you, you rested your head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It was picking up its pace; he was nervous about something. You felt his grip grow tighter around you before grabbing ahold of your chin and tilting it up. You watched him lean closer and soon meeting your lips with his own. Your eyes widened at the sudden action.
You wanted to pull away, but you felt your love for the boy overcome you and soon you kissed back just as passionately. Eren wasn't a harsh kisser but he wasn't completely shy about it either. You lost control of your hands as they soon became tangled in his shaggy brown hair, eliciting a soft moan from him. He hooked his arms under you, hoisting you up slightly so you were at his level. Before too long, he conducted the same action as Levi from earlier and slipped his tongue across your bottom lip, begging for entry to which you gladly obliged. You knew this was probably wrong, having kissed two men in the past 10 minutes but you couldn't help it. They had both won your heart and it was up to one of them to win it altogether.
"Eren…there's something I have to tell you…" you whispered against his lips as he began to slowly pull away.
"What is it, _____?" he asked you through half-lidded eyes.
"I'm in love with you…but…"
"But?" he pressed.
"I'm also in love with…Corporal Levi." His grip on you tightened at the mention of Levi, "The two of you have won my heart and I don't know who I love more."
"But…you just kissed me. That's gotta count for something, right?" He was hopeful.
"That may be, if I hadn't already kissed Levi." Your voice had grown increasingly shy in the past 30 seconds, indicating that you were now treading in dangerous waters.
His grip on you had fully loosened and he stepped away from you. You felt as though you had just ripped out his heart. This is what you had feared most of all above anything else while performing this faux dating.
You feared that the two of you would actually fall in love.
Eren backed a few steps away from you and wore a hurt expression on his features. You wanted to run over to him and take him in your arms again.
You wanted to run your hands through his hair again.
You wanted to hear the sound of his beating heartbeat again.
You wanted to feel his lips against yours again.
"Eren, I-" you were cut short for the umpteenth time this evening by a pair of lips.
The kiss ended as quickly as it had begun. Eren's expression had exchanged from hurt to dangerously serious.
"I'm going to win you over. Just wait and see! I'm not going to lose to Levi. I can't lose," he whispered against your lips.
You watched him leave as you had you had watched Levi leave. Shutting your door and locking it this time, you swore you weren't going to open it until morning, no matter who came knocking at your door. Lying down on your bed, you watched the stars twinkle and glisten in the sky. How you wished you could just make a decision between the two men.
This whole situation was such a mess.